Tuesday, October 7, 2008

If the government screws me, does that make me gay?

Gee, and I didn't get a steak dinner and a movie before getting bent over and screwed sideways. I just checked my 401k and the year to date is -40%. NEGATIVE FORTY FUCKING PERCENT. I think they bruised one of my kidneys with the proper fucking I've received.

The finance guys say that it's OK because with the prices down, and the same money going in, that I'm actually not losing anything because I'm buying more stocks so when the market rebounds, I'll have more money.


He got mad when I asked him how he could spew bullshit out of his mouth with a straight face. I then pressed him if he was going to be the next spokesman for big tobacco. I love watching suits squirm. Market rebound... that's a good one. Maybe in 2045 it will rebound.

Well I figured I would die either at my desk, or like Elvis, on the hopper. Maybe on the hopper at work! There is no way in Sam Hill I'll be able to retire, so I'll be working from my deathbed to pay the hospital bills.


Mayberry said...

Glad I'm outta the 401k thing.... Though I question if my gub'mint retirement will still be around.....

Oh, and the gub'mint screwin' ya makes you a taxpayer...

Bitmap said...

What kind of fund options do you have in your 401k? Is a money market available? If so, you should have moved your money to that months ago, if not at the end of last year.

If you aren't going to retire soon then the finance guy, whoever he is, is probably right. I've seen the stock market go up and down a couple of times in my short life. Remember the ".com" crash?

I'm not saying all is well, but if you have multiple options on the 401k you might put most of it in a money market or bond fund and a little in the stock market.

One advantage of the stock market going down is that the government is less likely to raid your 401k to prop up social security. How is that for a silver lining to this cloud?